Losing Joanne

From the hill where Joanne is laid to rest.

It was very early on Wednesday morning, December 11th, 2013.  Patrick had just left for work, and I was still in bed, as Margaux doesn't have to get up for school until 7:00.  I received a panicked telephone call from Patrick, informing me that his sister had just called to tell him that the ambulance had been called to his parents home, and that it didn't sound like his mother was going to make it.  I was alarmed, but chose to be rational and try to assure him that everything would certainly be okay.  I was wrong.  About 10 minutes later, he called back with a sad and simple, "My mom died."  I couldn't have been more shocked and instantly numb.  How could this be?  She was only 65, and so vibrant and healthy up until a month before.  She had been having spells of chest/head/back pain, and had been hospitalized twice and released twice without any concrete answers.  She was to follow up with a cardiac specialist in January.  She had apparently had a really good day on the 10th, feeling quite well, and enjoyed the day and a dinner out with Lonnie. She even made a visit to the hair salon for a cut and fresh color.  Now she is just gone?  My immediate concern was for Patrick, of course, he and Joanne were close.  Like, crazy close!  They spoke on the telephone every day, often times, multiple times in a day.  My heart breaks for him, and for his siblings, and of course for Lonnie, who has loved her since they were 17-18 years old!  Joanne adored her grandchildren, and so the hardest thing for me, was to tell Margaux.  I am so saddened that Margaux is being robbed of so many years with such a wonderful Grandma!  I know that she will carry the memories of her, so for that I am thankful.  She speaks of Joanne often, and prays for her at night, often with tears.  The wake and the funeral were the most beautiful I have ever seen, something Joanne would have appreciated with her class and style.  No one talks much about what it feels like to lose a mother-in-law.  I have been way more sad than I could have imagined, I don't mean that in a disrespectful way, it's just not something that I ever contemplated.  The waves of sadness and loss creep up on me daily.  We didn't always see eye to eye, Joanne and I, but I loved her, and I know that she wasn't finished living yet.  It was too soon.  This is what I wrote in the online guest book:

Joanne was many things...a loving daughter, a caring sister, a true friend, a devoted wife, an amazing mother and grandmother, a neat aunt and she was my mother-in-law...a great one whose heart was in the right place. She was the first woman in Patrick's life, his first best friend, and they remained as such until the day she went to Heaven. She was classy, stylish, particular, witty, creative, knowledgeable on an array of topics, the family 411 operator, she was a master chef and ironing pro, and the list goes on and on. I will miss her seeing Margaux grow up. I will remember fondly our shopping excursions and conversations. She loved her family with a love that is greater than love. She also had great faith in God, and because of that, she walks with Him now. To Lonnie, Patrick, Kim, Jim, Mike and Pete, I am thinking of you constantly and praying for you daily. Loving each other is what made her most happy. Love, Ree.