Alpha & Omega

Waylon, Addison, Melissa & Ryan
Melissa, me & sleepy Addison

I met my friend Melissa when we were both new at IMMC in 2002. We had actually been in the same nursing program at SXU but did not know one another. We tend to kind of work in pairs at work and Melissa is my other half. I had the honor of being her nurse for the delivery of both of her children and I was touched when she and Waylon asked me to be Addison's Godmother. Last night was the Baptism and it was a beautiful ceremony followed by a really nice celebration party.

On Friday I was in Michigan to attend the funeral of my cousin, Duane. He was my dad's nephew and quite close with my parents and our entire family. He was just 62 years old...a time when you are supposed to be winding down and just enjoying your grandchildren. Sadly, cancer arrived on the scene and changed everything.

Both the Baptism and the funeral were held in Lutheran churches and last night I was noticing the Greek letters "A" and "O" on some of the altar linens. Alpha and omega. In just twenty-four hours I had celebrated the beginning of a life and honored one that had ended.

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. -Rev. 22:13

7 weeks 5 days

Yep, I had another ultrasound today and our baby has graduated from a little blob to looking like a shrimp! Is that grotesque? Sorry! I call 'em how I see 'em! Besides, if I can't enjoy shellfish and other raw seafood treats for 9 months, why should you?!? LOL I actually have a nice print-out picture but I am honestly not feeling the motivation to mess around with the scanner today, we need to get it set up correctly so it's not such a production each time we use it! Anyway, all looks well and today's heart rate was 140 bpm. They also found what is causing certain symptoms I have been having, including that episode that had me convinced that I had miscarried:

A subchorionic hematoma is merely a sequestration of some blood within the layers of the forming placenta. It usually dissipates and disappears on its own. Sometimes you can have some vaginal bleeding (slight) and sometimes it does not cause bleeding. It usually does not interfere with the pregnancy and does not cause a miscarriage.

A Little Bit Rock & Roll

Patrick and I both grew up admiring Donny & Marie Osmond and Patrick got the opportunity to work with Donny for an entire day this past February. It was a Dancing With The Stars shoot for one of the entertainment news shows. The best part? Donny did not disappoint! Patrick said that he was nice and witty and completely down-to-earth. We are hoping to see him on an upcoming season of DWTS...following in Marie's dancing footsteps! (We have both had the pleasure of meeting Marie in the past as well!)

Welcome, Spring!

Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!

(Says Mother Nature.)

And THEN? It was Monday and I was still pregnant!!!

Yes indeed, that would be a baby in my uterus. Heartbeat of 105 bpm and measuring appropriately. That first picture is what I can only imagine that you folks think I should be taken away in!!! I am soooooooo sorry....not for still being pregnant of course, but for causing unnecessary ruckus! This is it, no more updates except for milestones and things that are confirmed! More than one of you told me that you had a feeling that I might still be pregnant and that I had no business making a self-diagnosis, but all I know is that I experienced SOMETHING out of the ordinary on Saturday! I felt that without a doubt, it was game over. My nurse said that they will just keep a close watch on things now but that she felt optimistic. Thank you so much for all of the kind words that we received through e-mails and telephone calls. I am nauseous and THRILLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Then It Was Sunday.

My boys~Some Audrey~Phone chat with Mom~A DQ treat~A new itty-bitty iPod Shuffle

And life was still good.

Disappointment

I hesitate to write a blog about this, but we need to get the word out after updating all of you so much along our infertility journey. I miscarried this morning. So very disappointing! I cried and got that out of the way almost immediately. Called the physician on call at FCI and I go on Monday morning to confirm it. (This is a formality, believe me, I had a miscarriage!) I have to tell you that I have had a nagging feeling that all was not well since about last Monday. Just some little symptoms that I was having that could be considered perilous. Yet, I tried my best to remain optimistic. I am thankful that this happened now, at just 6 weeks, and not weeks or months from now! I will say, that I had not FULLY realized how badly I wanted this until the moment that I lost it. The physician that I spoke with told me that they wait one month before they would transfer that last embryo that we have stored. Given our fertility history and now this loss, I am not really in a hopeful kind of place where I actually believe the next time will work...but we have to try! Thanks so much for all of your well wishes, thoughts and prayers...please keep them coming our way! (But please, also know that I am not big on pity parties. They make me feel worse/uncomfortable.)
Much love,
Ree & P.

A Little Sac

Well, as many of you already know, today was our first OB ultrasound. What did we find out? Intrauterine pregnancy? Check. Appropriate sized yolk sac for 6 weeks gestation? Check. Yes, it is a "sac", not "sacs"...a singleton pregnancy it would seem. There is still a slight blob detected that is the second embryo but it appears that it will not be viable. Patrick was a little disappointed of course....he was ALL ABOUT being a daddy to some twins! Me? I was swinging back and forth between feeling appauled by the thought of twins to happily accepting the idea. Our ultrasound technician and Dr. Lifchez both seemed pleased with what they saw even if I was bummed to not see a fetal pole or flutter of a heartbeat. They said we are right on the cusp of being able to see these things. I go back in one week to check again. I have been a bit of a Nervous Nellie and I will feel more relaxed once we confirm a little living being in there! Keep your fingers crossed and stay tuned...

Jasper-In-The-Box

That's our Jasper basking in the sun in our garden box! He's our little outdoors boy, especially when the weather is nice! This shot was taken yesterday and we awoke this morning to what appears will be another lovely day! The condition of our yard is a bit sad, but P. will have it all pretty again in no time with his green thumb and passion for landscaping design. We are hoping to have a Movie Night party in our back yard this summer, complete with movie theatre-like treats!

Leg Lamp

Yes! The Leg Lamp from A Christmas Story! Our friends, Lara & Tony, actually have the life-size version in their front window but ours is a nightlight. P. got it in his birthday gifts from his sister Kim and brother-in-law Mike and we just love it! It graces our landing upstairs and provides the perfect lighting at night.

"Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window."- Ralphie in A Christmas Story

A New Earth

Eckhart Tolle is a contemporary spiritual teacher who travels around the globe sharing his insights. I actually purchased this book on Overstock.com a few months ago only to have Oprah put her big stamp of approval on it a week or two later! (I have a love/hate relationship with Oprah's power!) Oprah is now hosting a podcast class on this book. I never got around to registering for it, but I see on the show that people are raving about it and claiming that they are experiencing several "A-HA moments" from this book/class.

I have a never ending stack of books waiting for me to read and this one was one of them. So just this morning, I opened it up and started to read. I want an "A-HA moment" too! As I get older I find that I am more open to experiences that I think might offer clarity and enrichment to my life. Anyway, I was only two pages in and I was already smiling:

Jesus tells us to contemplate the flowers and learn from them how to live. The Buddha is said to have given a "silent sermon" once during which he held up a flower and gazed at it. After a while, one of those present, a monk called Mahakasyapa, began to smile. He is said to have been the only one who had understood the sermon. According to legend, that smile (that is to say, realization) was handed down by twenty-eight successive masters and much later became the origin of Zen.

Pg Update

So this is where we stand:

Beta hcg#1: 188

Beta hcg#2: 559

Beta hcg #3: 1,118

Our first OB ultrasound is scheduled for next Thursday, March 13th. This is to confirm a healthy intrauterine pregnancy and how many sacs are residing in there. It is quite possible that it will be too soon to detect audible heartbeats, but we'll see! (I am just going to go ahead and admit trying to doppler the heart tones at work today...why stop disclosing my craziness now? I already posted the pic of the twelve HPT's!)

Surprise!

I hosted a surprise 40th birthday party for P. last night and it was so much fun! I managed to plan the whole thing and keep it a surprise until the last few minutes before we walked into the party, at which point he started to get suspicious. There were about 50 people in attendance including his parents, two of his siblings, aunts & uncle, his best friends, new friends, his amazingly fun coworkers and some of my favorite coworkers. The party was held at Molly Malone's in Forest Park where we enjoyed tasty food and an open bar for 4 hours. There was a 30th birthday party in the next room over and we enjoyed the sounds from their live band and eventually we opened up the doors dividing the two rooms and made it into one big party! Patrick had a terrific time and we all enjoyed celebrating with him and pulling some little funnies at his expense! Dale took some terrific pictures to document the evening that I am sharing with you via Flickr. (Please refer to the new Our Photo Albums link on the left of our page. Click on 'What is this?')

This morning we went for brunch at Bistro 110 to celebrate my mother-in-law, Joanne's, 60th birthday. Aunt Joyce is here with us from NYC until Tuesday afternoon! Such good times but I am pretty exhausted tonite!